Crises and setbacks are not
only inevitable parts of life but also are usually precipitated by
our very success. In crises and setbacks, our past experiences and
current capacity to cope are exceeded by the challenges we face. Our
goal is to use each crisis as an opportunity to improve our adjustment
beyond a previous best. To do so, we need to reach out to others and
make positive changes in our spheres of self, intimacy and achievement.
But this is not easy. Our successful adjustment to life is based
on patterns of thoughts, feelings and actions that we have acquired
through considerable effort and sacrifice. These patterns have been
repeatedly rewarded and reinforced throughout our life. They have
become part of our personality.
Frequently, when faced with a new challenge or environment, our
previously successful patterns of thoughts, feelings and actions
can become not only ineffective but also the source of our failure.
Since we all have confidence in what has worked well for us in the
past, we harbor a strong internal resistance to any change, even
a change for the better.
Fortunately, in crisis and distress, we have a rare opportunity
to deviate from our "beaten path" with less resistance. In distress,
our confidence and faith in our past ways are shattered, and we
are more likely to reach out to others and seek a new and better
way of coping.
For this reason, we must welcome crises and setbacks rather than
fear them. They are formidable and rare opportunities for renewing
ourselves. Learn to use crises to acquire effective ways of thinking,
feeling and acting. With practice and dedicated effort, you can
emerge from each crisis transformed and ready to face even greater
challenges in the future.
For a better understanding of how to
turn crisis into opportunity, see the chapter titled "Crisis as
Opportunity" in my eManual, "Breakthrough
Intimacy -- Sad to Happy through Closenes". New
publications will be presented at What's New and Available from
Lifetrack section of this site.
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