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Ken is a successful and ambitious executive in his 30s who became
severely depressed when faced with the first major setback in his
career. During therapy with his wife, Ken's personality went through
four distinct stages of structural transformation, as shown in the
graph below.
Vertical axis represents the daily self-rating scores by Ken on
41 parameters according to Lifetrack Total Adjustment Sheet (
available in PDF for Download at
lifetrack.com).
His intimacy score rose beyond its previous maximum level of 10
during the 1st month of therapy, reaching 50 (5 times higher than
his previous maximum) in 5 months. His self and achievement scores
followed his intimacy during the 2nd and 3rd month catching up during
the 4th month of therapy.
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A Closer Look at How Intimacy Leads to Growth
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Structural transformation (growth) of personality -- the way we
think, feel and act in the three key spheres of our lives (self,
intimacy and achievement) -- occurs typically in four stages when
Lifetrack therapy is highly successful.
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In acute distress, the self and achievement spheres
are collapsed, and the intimacy sphere is relatively more preserved.
In this condition of desperation, we are more accessible to help.
Some highly independent-minded individuals may further withdraw into
themselves instead of reaching out, complicating the process of recovery
and growth.
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If an appropriate partner is available, intimacy may
dramatically increase, in part thanks to the collapse of the usually
dominant self and achievement spheres. This is a painful stage in
which considerable resistance against escalating closeness occurs,
and stress symptoms often worsen. Sometimes, to make a breakthrough
in the intimacy sphere, professional help is necessary to help individuals
overcome formidable resistance. Too often, in a well-meaning attempt
to reduce immediate distress, the rare opportunity for a breakthrough
in the intimacy sphere and for meaningful growth in personality is
lost.
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Once the intimacy sphere reaches a sufficiently high
level, far beyond the previous best level, the self and achievement
spheres begin to recover because resistance -- distressful symptoms
-- disappears. This is an exciting and happy stage in which the self
and achievement spheres rapidly improve beyond their previous best
levels as they catch up with the intimacy sphere that has already
advanced far ahead and continues to improve.
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The self, intimacy and achievement spheres balance at
a much higher level than before and continue to advance together.
This is the ideal state in which the individual has the optimal preparation
to face future challenges in life.
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