Q : What is stress?

A : Stress can manifest itself in the form of distressing and preoccupying signals, such as anxiety, anger, physical symptoms, depression, and even psychosis. These signals arise when our capacity to cope is exceeded. Our existing personality-the way we think, feel, and act-is being overwhelmed by the challenges we face in life. 

Q : What is anxiety, and why do we become anxious?

A : Anxiety can be experienced as thoughts, feelings, and actions that signal nervousness, tension, worry, and fear. It is the first line of defense (or warning signal) when our past experience and current ability to cope (our personality) is exceeded by the challenges we face in our sense of self, a close relationship, or our work. 

Q : Why do I get anxious and irritable in situations where others might not?

A : Getting nervous, anxious, and irritable is a normal and necessary warning signal to alert us that we are facing challenges exceeding our past experience and current ability to cope. It is not objective, external events alone that create stress, but one's subjective response to those events. Work on your subjective response to life's circumstances.

Q : I just got the promotion I have wanted for years. Instead of feeling elated, I'm stressed out of my mind. Why don't I feel good when I should?

A : Although negative emotions commonly cause an increase in stress, positive experiences can also push us to our psychological limits. Getting a long-desired promotion, being accepted to the school of one's choice, landing a new job, or persuading the woman or man of your dreams to finally take notice can provoke anxiety, anger, physical symptoms, depression, and sometimes even psychosis. The reason one may react negatively to positive experiences is fear. You are afraid of the very things you most desire. Instead of being able to enjoy well-deserved success while it lasts, perhaps you are expecting and preparing to lose it.